Santa, Squirrels, Smackdowns what else?
by blondie41
Summary: This fic is just plain nonsense and is full of pure comedy! I hope you get a good laugh out of it! Read and Review! FINISHED with 5 chapters
1. The Freak Arrives

Sup sup, this is blondie41! This is my first fic and it should be pretty darn funny! A real knee slapper…yeah…ok, before I scare the little children.. *riku walks in* what little children?

Blondie 41: *shakes head* never mind…now let's get started with the story now, shall we? 

Riku: shall we what? 

Blondie41: *smacks forehead* just go!I

Riku walks in with Sora at his side. 

"Sora?" 

"Yes, Riku?"

"Since when did you get an all white room…"

"with nothing in it?" Sora completed his sentence. 

"Yeah…."

"With freaky music!" Kairi jumped in. 

Riku and Sora quickly turned around. "What are you doing here?!" 

"I thought that I would join y'all and have some fun!" 

Riku grumbled something about not having fun. 

"Yeah.." Sora sighed. 

Re re re the music played on. 

"Ouch!" Sora yelled as he tripped over Riku's shoes. (a\n: I'm telling ya, they have the biggest shoes in the world!) 

"Oh! I'll save you, Sora!" Kairi cheered as she fell dramatically on the floor…right on top of Sora, who would have guessed? 

"Kairi get off of me!" Sora squirmed underneath kairi. 

"No, I am saving you! Can't you see?" 

Riku ripped Kairi off of Sora and threw her off somewhere and helped his old buddy Sora off the ground. 

"She is one dumb freak, isn't she?" Riku whispered to Sora. Sora nodded with wide eyes. 

"Yi yi yi!" Riku and Sora heard a war cry. 

Kairi was standing in the middle of the room screaming her lungs out while beating her chest. 

Sora thought: _wouldn't that hurt?_

Kairi had war paint on her face, bones in her hair, and a mini-dress made out of…deer skin? 

Riku asked, "Did you use lipstick for that war paint?"

"Maybe"

"How did you change so fast?"

"Uh…"

"Where did you get those bones?" Sora inquired. 

"I dunno." 

"Murderer!" Riku cried aloud!

"No!" 

Sora gasped and covered his mouth with both hands. 

"What about that deer skin? Huh?!" Riku yelled at Kairi. 

"I got it from…"

"A BUNNY!!!!" Sora yelled. 

"Yes!" Kairi said. 

*pause* 

"Hey wait a minute…no!" Kairi said. 

"No what?" Riku asked. 

"No bunny."

"What bunny?" 

"The one I took."

"You took a bunny?"

"Yes." *silence* "No."

Riku screamed. 

Sora said with hands on his hips (a\n odd picture, huh?) "What now?" 

"We are on Uranus!" 

"We are?" kairi said with her jaw dropped low. 

"Eww, I hope it's not Kairi's you-know-what." 

Riku and Sora started laughing. 

"Hey, you all are sickos!" 

They kept on laughing. 

"Anyways, aren't we on Earth?" Kairi said like she knew everything. 

"Like you should know!" Riku laughed. 

"Are not!" Sora said. 

"Are two!" Kairi fought back. 

"Are not!"

"Are two!"

"Are three!"

"Are three what?"

"I don't know, I thought you knew!" 

"Oh darnit!" 

"SILENCE!" a random voice yelled. 

Everyone looked to the left. 

"Hmm, not there." Sora said. 

Everyone looked to the right. 

"Uh, nope." Kairi giggled. 

Everyone looked forward and backwards…nothing. 

"Oh c'mon! He has to be here somewhere!" Riku yelled frustrated. 

"I'm up here!" The random voice yelled. 

"Where?" 

"Do, I have to spell it for you?" 

"That would be nice!" Sora said grinning. 

"No use, I wouldn't understand." Riku scrunched his eyebrows while scratching his head. 

"Here's a big clue!" The random dude jumped from the ceiling onto the floor right in front of them. 

"Ouch," the dude rubbed his back, "hard fall, you know."

"M-m-m-" Riku stumbled over his words. 

Hehe, I hope you like my first really short chappie! Please review and tell me what you think about it! THANKS!!!


	2. Plastic, Wizard Of Oz, and Junior

Hey, it's me again! I hope you liked my first chapter! Enough chit chat I think that we should go back to where we left off……with Riku stuttering….

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"M-m-m- MICHAEL JACKSON!" Riku yelled. 

"I'm blind!" Sora screamed while covering his eyes.

"Hold me, Sora!" Kairi buried her face into his chest. 

"Back off, Kairi! I'd rather have him hold me!" Sora pointed to MJ (aka: Michael Jackson, sorry for the abv. But who would want to write that awful name more than once?!) 

"Are you sure, Sora?" Riku shuddered. 

Sora looked at MJ. "No, not really."

"Ho, ho, ho!" MJ cheered. 

"Yes, yes you are." Riku sniggered. 

"How many pounds of plastic did you use for your face?" Sora asked. 

"Not sure." MJ stroked his gruesome face…or what we thought was his face….

"Can you leave? You're freaking me out." kairi said while holding Sora. 

"No." 

"Why not? That's evil!" 

"I am evil!" 

"You think YOUR evil? You obviously have never worked for Maleficent!" Riku bragged, I think. (a\n: I really don't know how to spell her name…so don't mind that….)

"Who?" MJ asked. 

"Oh, never mind!"

"Well, I have come here to take your magic keyblade." MJ announced. 

"My what?" Sora yawned. 

"Your Keyblade." 

"Oh, yeah, that ole thing." Sora said. 

"Can I see it?" 

"No! Perve…."

Kairi blushed and giggled. What a freak….

"Aright, then I will just have to take the key blade from you." 

"No, mine!" Sora hissed while holding his precious….hehehe. 

"Then I must kill you!" 

"No!" Kairi screamed. 

"Yes, now move aside." MJ pushed Kairi away. 

"Eww! He touched me! Groooossss!" Kairi ran to the bathroom to wash off her contamination. I really don't know why she was so grossed out when she is disgusting herself. 

"Wonder what his problem is." MJ asked himself. 

Riku and Sora stared at him (that must have hurt) shrugging their shoulders while grinning. 

Riku had been thinking of a way to get rid of MJ, so he thought of a great way! 

"Never fear, Sora! I will kill MJ!" He threw a bucket of water onto him. 

And they waited………..

And they waited……

And they waited…..

"Hey, you were supposed to melt!" Riku said grumpily. 

"Now, I am drenched you little kid!" 

"Yeah, yeah, it's all about you, isn't it?" 

"Of course, I am famous!" 

"Yeah, famous for being the first man made of plastic!" Sora chuckled. 

"It always worked in the movies!" Riku complained. 

Kairi couldn't stop her insane giggling. Sora thought she would die of laughter. Wait, maybe that's a good thing. 

Riku skipped (yes, skipped) off humming something about a yellow, brick yellow road. 

Sora who was almost blind from looking at **_him_** too much, needed to get away. 

"Kairi!" He yelled, "Can you distract MJ, while I find a way to get out of here?" 

"Ok, anything for you, Sora!" Kairi said dreamily. 

"Yo, MJ! Get over here!" kairi called. 

MJ walked over. 

"This is called the hula." 

As Kairi sang "Aloha Oi" very horribly, Sora sneaked away looking for a door or something. 

"Make her stop! Make her stop!" MJ yelled while holding his ears. 

Sora found a door and ran through it and he didn't forget to lock the door behind him. 

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Nope, that's not the end! 

"Let's get ready to rumble!!!!!!" the host sang. 

"Huh? Where am I?" Sora asked.

And then Pluto comes…..just kidding. 

"Riku!" 

"Yeah Sora?" Riku was juggling oranges and threw one to Sora. 

"Where are we?" Sora asked. 

"We're in Traverse Town!" 

"AGAIN?" 

"No, we're actually in Lapooska." 

"Oh…" 

They both herd giggling. 

"How'd you get here?" Riku and Sora asked together. 

Kairi just giggled. 

"There's something wrong with the girl, and I just can't place my finger on it." 

"Sora, get your finger off my boob!" Kairi blushed, 

"Agh!" Sora ran around in circle's holding his finger. 

Riku chuckled…no he laughed…now he was laughing like a maniac…ok, now he's just scaring me! 

"I have an idea! Let's go feed the squirrels!" Kairi suggested. 

"Ugh, fine whatever." Riku said. 

The three of them skipped off to the forest, ok Sora didn't skip…yeah, kairi didn't either….ok, it was just gosh-dang Riku ,okay? Cheese……some people….

*grin* hi! Ahem……

"Ok here you go." Kairi gave Sora and Riku some nuts and seeds. 

"That's alright K, I already have nuts." Riku winked. 

Kairi, disgusted, skipped over to her right calling the squirrels. 

Riku, nuts and all, walked a couple feet and called: "Squirrel! Squirrley, Squirrley, Squirrel!" 

A Squirrel jumped from a tree and landed right in from of Riku. 

"Hi, little guy!" Riku stepped forward. 

The squirrel, now named Junior glared at him. 

"Want a nut? They taste good!" 

Junior looked at him with gleaming red eyes. 

"Uhm, Polly…wanna…crack…er?" 

There were rustling of leaves, screaming claws, fists, need I go on……don't answer that! 

Kairi and Sora were walking together through the woods. Yes, I know….scary. 

"Did you hear something?" kairi asked Sora. 

"Hey guys." Riku walked up, covered in sores, bruises, and the color red. 

"What happened?" Sora was worried. 

"Lemme just say…Squirrels will die!" 

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TO BE CONTINUED….

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Poor, poor Riku, don't worry, he shall be better next chapter….I hope. 

Review!!!

Ps- If you guys have any ideas for what to do in this story, please please please tell me!!!! 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!

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Thank Reviewers! Don't forget to tell your friends about this story! 

The Irish Gurl: What destruction are you going to do with him?? Just make sure to steer clear away from my house!!!!

Ryo6: Why thank you…it is pretty funny. 

fallen-angel2003204: sorry, I didn't get enough randomness in this chapter, but I will try to next time!!!

GC-eva-fan: Thanks for reviewing, I'll try more randomness in further chappies!

Bikky2021: lol, sorry it wasn't you...MJ had to be in there! LOL, thanks for reviewing!!!

Kenshins_gurl: hey, thank for reviewing after I asked you a million times! Hehehe, I hope you also liked this chapter!

Leon, Miko, Riniko, Mistral: Uh…thank you? 

Crazy_for_Bakura: Lol, I am glad you thought it was funny. Yeah, my first story was ok, but this one is much better! Talk to you later!

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	3. The Jolly Good Time

Hey its me again! I am sorry I haven't updated for like years now, I have just been really busy!! Also my computer was broken or something and then had to be fixed…that took a while. As you can imagine! 

Riku: yeah, I have been waiting for MY story to come over for ages now!

Blondie: Shut up! Anyways, this is my story, not yours! So back off! 

Riku: Oh dangit…

Blondie: *smile* I can't stay mad at you! 

Riku: *grin* 

Blondie: Alrighty, time for this story to kick in! 

Riku: Kick what? 

Blondie: ……….

Riku: What???

* * *

  


Riku, Sora, and Kairi were all sitting by the fireplace in Sora's house. 

"Squirrels….evil….die…." Riku was muttering. 

"What the heck are you complaining about now, Riku?" Kairi asked. 

Riku: *glare…hiss*

Kairi backed off and almost fell into the fire…to bad she didn't. 

"Well, I am tired and I need to sleep. Good-night." Sora said and walked to bed and fell asleep almost immediately. 

"Talk about strange." Riku said. 

"Strange… let's see, what can I say about strange." Kairi pondered.

"You truly are an idiot, aren't you?" Riku said blandly. 

"Yeah. Strange." 

Riku's thoughts: _why the heck did Sora have to leave me with her? I mean, she is so annoying, she is strange…golly, here I go saying strange just like the freak Kairi is saying right now. Dang, she keeps on saying it, will she ever stop? _

"Strange. Stranger. Strangest. Strange. Stranger." 

__

Yeah, so I thought. 

"OK, if you don't stop saying that word, I'll tell Sora your deep dark secret!" 

Kairi gasped. "What word?" 

"Well, you know, the word?" 

"No, I don't know, what word are you talking about?"

"It rymes with range and starts with an 'S'." 

"Srange?"

"Almost, now add a 't'."

"Sranget?"

"No…oh never mind!" 

"Okay!" 

"I'm going to go to sleep." Riku yawned. 

"Alright, night-night!" 

Riku got up and went to the bathroom and started brushing his teeth. Good boy! While he was brushing his teeth he heard a big boom and a scream. Riku stopped what he was doing and ran into the living room…

"What the-?"

Santa Claus was standing in the living room with Kairi sitting at his feet. Sora walked into the room in his nightgown…Oo;;; 

"Hey, You're Santa Claus!" 

"No really, kid?" 

"Yeah, really!"

Santa Claus snorted. "Hmph, so where are my presents?" 

"Santa, your supposed to give US presents!" Kairi informed him. There she goes again; thinking she knows everything!

"Oh, yeah…how much you wanna bet?" 

Kairi's eyes started to form tears. "I was just telling you what I read in my Christmas story books."

"HEY, Do you always believe what you read?" 

Kairi hesitated, " I-I-I don't know sir." 

"Hey, why don't you back off!" Sora yelled. 

"Oh my word (a\n, hahaha, I am sorry, I just thought that it is funny when someone says Oh my word) You are standing up for Kairi?" Riku laughed.

"Oh my goodness, you're right! What was I thinking?" Sora slapped himself. "Wow, glad that's over with!" 

"I want my presents!" Riku complained and stuck out his lower lip. Oh, how cute!!!! 

"Alright, alright, hold your horses!" 

"You got me horses!!! Oh thank you, thank you!!!" Riku jumped for joy thinking about riding ponies. La la la la la!

"No, idiot! But here is your gift." Santa tossed Riku an object wrapped in shiny green wrapping paper. 

"Oh yeah! I have always wanted green paper! Thanks, Santa!" 

Santa sighed. 

"Dude, you're supposed to unwrap it to see the gift!" Sora told Riku. 

"Oh!" Riku unwrapped his precious green wrapper to find a bottle of really shiny and sparkly hair gel.

"Yay!" Riku ran around the living room spanking himself like he was riding a horse or something shouting "Yee-haa!" 

"Alright, Riku, your scaring me!" Sora said, stopping Riku's insane dance. 

"Thank you, Santa!" Riku ran up to Santa and hugged him, he smelt of beer…

Riku squeezed a whole glob onto his hand and mixed it into his hair…after a couple minutes, his hair turned into the shape of a Mohawk. 

"Yeah, now that's what I'm talking about! Party on, Riku!" Sora gave Riku a high-five. 

"Party on, Sora!" 

"Santa, where's Sora's gift?" 

"Oh yeah." Santa handed Sora a little cardboard box. Sora opened it and pulled out a piece of coal. 

"Hey, I thought I was a good boy this year!" 

"Well, clearly you weren't!" 

"Uh, Sora, member when we uhh…" Kairi and Sora blushed. 

"Oh yeah."

"NOOOOOOO!!!! HEAR NO EVIL!!" Riku cried out!

"What's your problem dude? You were with us when we did it!" 

"Oh yeah, painting the school walls with shiny spray paint was fun!" Riku smiled evilly! 

(a\n: had you there, didn't I?…right??)

Sora put the coal on the table. 

"STRANGE!" Kairi cried out.

"What?" Riku, Sora, and Santa all asked. 

"Strange!" 

"What are you talking about, Kairi?" Riku asked. 

"That's the word that rhymed with range and started with 'S'." 

"You just go that now?" 

"Yeah, ain't I smart?" Kairi grinned. 

"No."

"Oh." Kairi's grin quickly turned into a frown. Sora started to crack up. 

"Alright, well, here is my last gift!" Santa threw a big box at Kairi's face. 

"Ow!" Kairi sat on the floor rubbing her nose.

"That hurt!" Kairi slowly opened the box and then…….BOOM!

A bomb burst out and Kairi laid on the floor covered in black. 

"Is she dead?" Sora asked. 

"I hope so." 

Santa hit Riku across the head. 

"Sorry, but I think this calls for a song." Riku smiled. 

"Which song shall it be?" Sora asked. 

Then Riku and Sora started square dancing while singing Ding dong the Witch is Dead!

CRASH!!!!! The wall to the left broke down and Brett Favre (a football player) ran in and threw Kairi around his shoulder while screaming, "Charge!" 

"I hate the chargers!" Riku mumbled. 

"I thought he played for the Packers…" Sora said. 

"Kairi!" Santa yelled.

DUN DUN DUN 

Too be continued……

So many questions to be answered like: Did Kairi really die? Does Santa have a crush on Kairi? And….will Riku's hair ever become normal??? All questions will be answered in next chapter!! 

Hey, when you review please answer this poll! 

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WHAT SHAMPOO DOES RIKU USE FOR HIS SILKY HAIR?

Is it:

a) Herbal Essence---he's got the urge

b) Pantene Pro-V- 6 signs of healthy hair

c) Head and Shoulders- so that he can remember where his head is. (right above your shoulders, for those who didn't know!) 

Please tell me what you think!

THANK YOUS!

KoBRe LaiR: Thank you so much for the review! Thanks a lot, I am really glad that you like my fic! I really needed that review! 

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DoomGirl: Hey, that's a cool idea, I might use that in further chappies! Thanks a lot for the idea!

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Goku Man- Thanks! MJ is a dude who used to be a great singer, but now is a person who everyone hates now, because he does bad things and got plastic surgery like all over his face! It's quite odd! 

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GC-eva-fan- lol, has he gotten into jail, yet? I also have to review for that next chapter, sorry I have been really busy!

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Crazy-For-Bakura: Chocolate does weird things to you! Lol, me two! Thanks for the review! Oh, and update for My Immortal soon, okay? (My Immortal is a really cool story that my really good friend wrote, you all should check it out!) 

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Hiei's Gurl 247: Thanks for the review! Alright, just make sure not to hurt me and my fellow blondes while taking over the world, okay? Lol!

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Kenshins-gurl 3000: lol, I am glad you thought my story was hilarious! I hope you liked this chappie too! 

Well, thanks everyone for reviewing my fic, I really appreciate it! I'll try to update sooner this time!! Hehehe, until next time…party on!!


	4. Crammed Refrigerators and a Mysterious M...

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Well, it's about time that I start writing this story again.

::ding dong:: Hold on, someone is at the door…

Riku walks into the room.

Blondie: oh hey, come sit down. ::pats chair:: ...the one NEXT to me…not my own

Riku sat down.

Blondie: I'm writing another chapter.

Riku: Yay! Am I in it?

Blondie: DUH!

::ding dong::

::looks out the window::

Blondie: OH NO! IT'S KAIRI!

Riku: RUN!!

Blondie hides under the computer desk while Riku tries to cram himself into the refrigerator.

Riku: Your refrigerator is full of food!

Blondie: uh…yah!

Riku: How am I supposed to hide in the refrigerator if it is full of food?

Blondie: uh, you DON'T hide in the- KAIRI!! It's been so long…

Blondie got up from her hiding spot and shook her hand. While wiping her hand off on her jeans, Kairi asked, "Where's Riku?"

Blondie: umm…um…at the grocery store?

Kairi: at the grocery store?

Blondie: um, yes….that's the, um, cool spot?

Kairi: Oh! Well, then let's go there! First let me get some carrots out of the refrigerator.

Blondie: nooo! It was too late, Kairi had already opened up the door.

Kairi: Riku? What are you doing in there?

Riku: Just eating some oranges.

Kairi: 0.o

Riku: Wait, last time I saw you, that one guy had you over his shoulder yelling, "Charge!"

Kairi: Oh yeah, didn't you know that someone found me on the street and cared for me until I was better?

Blondie and Riku: no…Who?

Kairi: Not telling! ::giggle::

Riku: I will find out. ::looks at imaginary camera:: Oh yes. I WILL find out.

Blondie: Anyways, I'm going to start the story.

::scene changes::

Riku, Sora, and Kairi are all on the couch watching a scary movie. Well, actually Kairi was on the floor watching Sora, Sora was on the chair in the corner looking at Riku's Mohawk, and Riku was on the couch watching the squirrels outside the window. So, really, nobody was watching the scary movie.

There was a knock on the door. And another knock. And another.

"IS SOMEBODY GOING TO ANSWER THE DOOR?" The man outside yelled.

Riku: Oh! Someone was knocking on the door? I thought it was Santa trying to come down the chimney again.

Kairi: Okay…me two!

Sora got up to answer the door. When he opened it he found…

A knife sticking straight up out of the doormat. It had a red substance on it.

Riku: ::jumps:: yay! ::picks up the knife and licks it:: SOY SAUCE!

Sora: What? It's red, Riku.

Riku: Oh, then it's…::licks again:: mustard!

Sora: It's red.

Riku: DUH, Sora! Golly…

Kairi: ::runs over:: Is somebody trying to kill Sora?

Sora: ::magically changes into spy gear:: I think we have a case to solve, gentlemen.

Kairi: But, I'm a girl.

Sora: and I repeat, I think we have a case to solve, gentlemen.

Kairi: ::scowl::

Riku: ::hops out of closet in a bunny costume:: Costume time! Yay!

Sora: No, Riku.

Kairi: Yay!

Riku: ::screams:: Kairi, you are in a SCARY costume!

Kairi: but I haven't changed yet…

Sora: ::chuckles::

Sora: Let's go and find out who is trying to kill me.

The three of them walk outside and find a note in the mailbox.

__

You want to know who I am.

Well, I'll tell you that I am not Sam.

Riku, you were wrong. The substance was strawberry jam.

Riku: DANGIT! I WAS SO CLOSE!

Sora: Shut up!

__

You'll have a great time trying to find me.

And uh, ho-ho-ho

Sora: Oh please don't let it be MJ again.

Kairi: I know that was scary.

Sora: You know what else is scary?

Kairi: What?

Sora: you! ::laughs::

Kairi: Whatever, Sora.

Riku: ::sitting in a corner::

Sora: What's wrong, Riku?

Riku: Can you believe what that guy called me?

Sora: No…what?

Riku: How could you miss it?

Sora: Miss what?

Kairi: DUH, SORA! Miss that his fly is down!

Riku: no! ::pause:: … ::blush:: whoopsiee! ::zips::

Sora: Oh, if that was all.

Riku: He said it three times!

Sora: Said what? Who? Huh?

Riku: The "mystery" guy, in the poem.

Sora: ::confused:: uh…it's okay?

Kairi: Okay! Now that that's settled, let's go inside and watch that scary movie!

The three turn around and start walking back to the door to see…

Riku: HOLY MACARONI!

Sora: what the heck…

Riku: AND CHEESE!

That's all for now! J I hope you liked this chapter, it was kinda spur of the moment thing. So it probably wasn't that good. But anywho, comment please!! So that I know people are reading this! And also sorry for any misspelled words, or wrong punctuation.

I may update soon…but u never know! I made you guys wait like a YEAR for this chapter, lol. Sorry!

Lots of Love to the Reviewers!

Fallenangel- haha, I may be able to fit u in…lol

DoomGirl- You're idea was funny! I'll have to put it into the story somehow..hmm. I'll probably 4get, lol

CFB(aka jennizzle)- lol! I'm glad u liked it….but my name is trish lol Rolling on the floor laughing is always fun. Hehe

Loopylou1- thank you!! It's okay, even I don't get half the stuff! Lol!

Kenshinsgurl- yay! Thanx for commenting! I hope u liked this chap

Choco-gal: Yes! The brain thing is going to be funny, I just have to remember to put it in!!!

Daveysbloodyvalentine-whoa, you haven't talked about davey in a while! Which is good, cause he's scary, man! Hahaha!

Well, everyone voted for a different shampoo! So I guess he uses all of them! Heheh

Thanks for the 7 reviews, heh. REVIEW!!


	5. The End of the Khaos?

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I am going to wrap up this story in this final chapter. It's been fun writing this story, and I hope you all liked it! J

Disclaimer: I do not own the song "come on over" xtina does…

Riku: ::sobs::

Blondie: It's okay, Riku. Maybe we can write more stories in the future…maybe!

Riku: but, but!

FallenAngel walks in. "Where have you been my whole life?"

Riku: Huh?

Blondie: 0.0 well, um…ON WITH THE STORY

BAM! BAM! BAM!

Kairi: ::runs up to sora:: ::hugs him:: whatcha doin?

Sora: ::pushes her off:: hitting the trees for coconuts.

Kairi: Ooo! I can climb the tree! Want to see?

Sora: -- go ahead.

Kairi: ::jumps on tree, hugs it, and climbs up in that matter:: ::then falls off::

Sora: That looks like fun! ::does same:: weeeeeeeee!!! Again, again!

After about an hour or so, Riku shows up. "What are you doing?"

Sora and Kairi: Weeeeeeeeeee!

Shelbey, an Irish chick, jumps from the treehouse and onto the palm trees.

Shelbey: Sora! Let's go play! ::throws wooden sword over::

Sora and Shelbey start hitting trees for coconuts while Riku and Kairi are…..

Kairi: STARING CONTEST!

Riku and Kairi sit on the sand looking into each other's eyes.

__

I can't believe I'm in a staring contest with Kairi.

I can't believe I'm in a staring contest with Riku.

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Okay, eyes starting to hurt.

My eyes aren't even burning yet.

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Dang, when will she stop staring.

I dunno

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Oh okay. WAIT A MINUTE!

Riku stands up, points his finger at Kairi, and then runs over to a bucket of water and sticks his head in it.

Riku: ah, relief. My eyes don't burn anymore. (an, why he didn't blink just to hydrate his eyes, we don't know.)

Kairi: Oo, that looks like fun! ::puts bucket of liquid on her head::

Sora walks over. "Why are you guys sticking your heads in the bedpans?"

Kairi: In the what?

Sora: You know, the buckets that are by people's beds that they use to pee in during the night.

Riku and Kairi: 0.0 ooooooh my gosh!!

They both ran to the bathroom to rinse off. In there, they found another note.

__

I'm getting tired of hiding so I'll tell you where I am.

I'm in the forbidden tree house, spraying stuff with Pam.

So come on over and find me, and bring Sora, too.

Kairi turned to Riku to see that he had a blonde wig on, some skintight pants, and a stuffed bra on.

__

"Hey, boy, don't you know I've got something going on (Yes, I do) All my friends are gonna come gonna party all night long I know, you know, I just want us to go The fun we'll have fun you'll never be alone So boy, won't you come? We will party till the dawn.Listen to me... All I want is you (Come over here baby) All I want is you (You make me go crazy) All I want is you (You better cross the line) I'm gonna love you right (All I want is you!)" Riku sang.

****

0.0 Kairi pulled Riku out of the bathroom, and the two ran to go find Sora. Actually, Kairi ran while Riku frolicked while throwing daisies. "Laaaa laa! La la la la la la!"

Kairi: Sora! Read this note! ::hands him the note::

Sora: Let's go.

They all dress up in secret agent outfits. Riku still with the bra on.

Riku: HEY! IT'S COMFORTABLE!

Blondie: alright then…anyway.

They reach the front of the treehouse. As they climb up, Kairi slips off and lands on the sand.

Kairi: Owie! Sora! Come save me!

The two boys, jumped down and sat next to Kairi.

Kairi: I think I slipped on…Pam?

Riku: ooo, let's make pancakes or scrambled eggs!

Sora: Are you okay?

Kairi: ::looks into his eyes:: yeaaaah.

Sora: ::disturbed:: Let's go try and climb up to the treehouse again.

They turn around and see Riku in a chef's hat cooking scrambled eggs on the Pam-sprayed tree. "Anyone hungry?"

Sora: ::grabs Riku's chef hat:: this is serious! Now let's go see who the mystery man is!

Riku: ::cries:: my hat! Can I keep the hat? Please!

Sora: ::glares:: FINE!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Kairi: OUCH! GET OFF OF ME!

Choco-gal: No! I MUST STAB YOUR BRAIN!

Kairi: What? Why!

Riku: Let's all watch!

Choco-gal: ::knocks on Kairi's head:: Does she even have a brain?

Riku and Sora shrug.

Kairi: I DO TOO HAVE A BRAIN!

RIKU: LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!

Choco-gal and Kairi have a smack down. "oo, ow, ahhh, you pulled my hair! You pulled mine! Oww ahhh, grr, ouchie. I'm going to kill you!"

Audience: ooo….ahhh…

Kairi stands up and has bald spots all over her head. With Choco-gal holding up patches of her hair in her hands.

Choco-gal: Mwhahaha! You'll never catch me! ::runs off::

Riku: ::dr.evil voice:: I shall call it…baldie.

Kairi: WHY I OUGHTTA!!!!

"KAIRI!!!" A big man with a bottle of Pam in his hand shouted.

"SANTA?" Riku and Sora yelled.

"Dang right! And I've come to be with my gal!" Santa jumped down and grabbed Kairi by the waist and gave her a big kiss.

Kairi: Santa! I would have never known!

Santa and Kairi run off to …oh, who knows where they ran off to.

Riku: AND I HAVE SOMETHING TO SETTLE WITH LITTLE MR.JUNIOR OVER THERE.

Riku pounces Junior and realizes something very strange. "JUNIOR IS A GIRL! AND SHE'S HAVING BABIES!"

Audience: aww!

Sora: really!

Riku: Naw! I'm just screwing with ya. Now for you, Junior. ::throws the evil squirrel over the ocean::

Junior: I WILL COME BACK TO TERRORIZE-hoooly ::splash::

Riku: ::brushes dirt of his shoulder::

::scene turns to Sora sitting alone on a tree branch::

All by myself!! Don't wanna be…..all by myself!!!

Riku climbs onto the tree branch with Sora. "Don't worry, Sora. You always got me!" Riku said as he put his arm around Sora's shoulder.

"ME and You! And You and ME! Together we will be for eternity!!" They sang together.

What a perfect way to end.

Riku and Sora both look into the sky. "WHAT THE-"

THE END

How'd you like it, guys?! This story was really fun to write and I'm kinda sad that it's over. I just want to thank all my reviewers so much and I am really glad that you liked the story! It took me about a year to write this story, hehe.

And I hope I got all your ideas that you gave me into this chapter, if I didn't, I'm sorry!

When you review also tell me which chapter you thought was the best, okay? Thanks!

Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays, and watch out for Squirrels, Santa, and/or Smackdowns!


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